"Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it." Tom Selleck said that to me as we (and the rest of the cast of the play we were working on) watched a baseball game. We were in a box at the stadium and police had to be called in to control the crowd that had gathered. Tom eventually had to leave the game because the commotion was making it difficult for other people to enjoy the game.
This was six years ago and those words still haunt me. In fact, they almost paralyze me. Almost nothing worth having is ever easy. And, I go to great lengths to have the marriage, job, and family that I want.
I've mentioned how I found this great new job. Three weeks into it and I'm completely overwhelmed. I'm only 28 years old and they're calling me an online marketing expert. WTF? Well, I wished and worked for it and I got it. I feel like crawling into a hole somewhere and going to sleep. No more stress; just leave me alone.
I also want to write a novel of sorts. I'm working on it. I say that the reason I haven't finished it is procrastination. But, I'm really terrified of the extra work that goes into having to sell the thing once it's done. And then, what if it actually sells, then I'd have to go on book tours (if I'm lucky) and feel sophomoric pressure on the next book.
Geez, I should probably be on some kind of medication. Am I simply a lazy ass? I really just need to get back to work on the job(s) I do have right now.